What the Duck?
你鸭的！
作者：Drew Magary @ 2013-11-17
译者：沈沉（@你在何地-sxy）
校对：babyface_claire（@许你疯不许你傻）
来源：GQ,
http://www.gq.com/story/duck-dynasty-phil-robertson
How in the world did a family of squirrel-eating, Bible-thumping, catchphrase-spouting duck hunters become the biggest TV stars in America? And what will they do now that they have 14 million fervent disciples? Our Drew Magary toured the Louisiana backwater with Phil Robertson and the Duck Dynasty gang to find out.
究竟是出于什么缘故，才会使得这样一个捕食松鼠、大肆宣扬圣经、口头禅滔滔不绝的猎鸭大家庭成了全美最耀眼的电视明星？现拥1400万狂热信徒，他们又会做些什么？为解答这些问题，本刊记者Drew Magary在路易斯安那的穷乡僻壤走访了Phil Robertson及《鸭子王朝》一伙人。
……
Let's start with the crossbow, because the crossbow is
huge. I'm sitting in the passenger seat of a camo-painted ATV, rumbling through the northern Louisiana backwoods with Phil Robertson, founder of the Duck Commander company, patriarch at the heart of A&E's smash reality hit
Duck Dynasty, and my tour guide for the afternoon.
首先说说手弩，因为它实在太大了。当时我坐在一辆涂了迷彩的全地形车的副驾位置上，跟Phil Robertson一起颠簸在路易斯安那北部的老林中。Robertson是“鸭司令”公司的创始人，A & E有线台极为轰动的热播真人秀《鸭子王朝》的核心家长，也是我本次午后之旅的导游。
There are seat belts in this ATV, but it doesn't look like they've ever been used. Phil is not wearing one. I am not wearing one, because I don't want Phil to think I'm a pussy. (Too late!) The crossbow—a Barnett model equipped with a steel-tipped four-blade broadhead arrow—is perched on the dash between us. It looks like you could shoot through a goddamn mountain with it.
车上配有安全带，但似乎从来没人用过。Phil没系。我也没系，因为我可不想让Phil看扁。（然而太迟了……）手弩就趴在我俩之间的仪表板上。那是只巴内特弩，装备有一根箭头钢制、四向开刃的阔首箭。它看上去会让你觉得拿着它就可以他妈的射穿一座山。
"That'll bury up in you and kill you dead," Phil says.
“这东西能把你射穿，彻底干掉你”，Phil说。
The bow is cocked and loaded, just in case a deer stumbles in front of us and we need to do a redneck drive-by on the poor bastard, but the safety is on. SAFETY FIRST. Still, Phil warns me, "You don't want to be bumping that."
弓已装好，扳机已扣上，万一有野鹿突然跑到我们的车子面前，那我们就需要在这倒霉蛋身上玩一场红脖式飞车射击了。但保险栓还是拉上了。安全第一！不过，Phil还是告诫我，“你最好还是不要碰到它。”
As we drive out into the woods, past a sign that reads parish maintenance ends, Phil is telling me all about the land around us and how the animals are a glorious gift from God and how blowing their heads off is part of His plan for us.
随着我们驱车驶入丛林，把一个写着“县政府维护界”的牌子甩在后面，Phil一路都在跟我介绍周边的土地，说动物们是上帝赠与的极好礼物，又说把它们爆头是他为我们此行准备的计划之一。
"Look at this," he says, gesturing to the surrounding wilderness. "The Almighty gave us this. Genesis 9 is where the animals went wild, and God gave them wildness. After the flood, that's when he made animals wild. Up until that time, everybody was vegetarian. After the flood, he said, 'I'm giving you everything now. Animals are wild.'"
“看看这个”，他说，手指着我们周围的荒野。“上帝把它赐予了我们。动物们走向野生是在《创世纪》第9章，上帝赐予了它们荒野。是在洪水之后，他才让动物们野生的。直到那时以前，所有人都吃素。洪水以后，上帝就说，‘我把一切都赐予你们。动物是野生的。’”
There's a fly parked on Phil's long beard. It's been there the whole ride, and I desperately want to pluck it out, but I decide against it. Along with the crossbow, there's a loaded .22-caliber rifle rattling around in the footwell.
Phil的长胡子上停着一只苍蝇。整个行驶过程中，它一直都在那儿，我极度想要把它抓走，但最终还是决定不这么干。除了手弩之外，车上还有支已经装上弹药的点22口径步枪在脚坑里一直晃荡。
And yet, much like the 14 million Americans who Nielsen says tune in to
Duck Dynasty every week—over 2 million more than the audience for the
Breaking Bad finale—I am comfortable here in these woods with Phil and his small cache of deadly weaponry. He is welcoming and gracious.
不过，跟Nielsen所说的每周都收看《鸭子王朝》的1400万美国人（比《绝命毒师》大结局的观众还要多200万）一样，我跟Phil及他的一小批致命武器藏品一起呆在丛林中时，感到非常舒适。他热心好客、和蔼可亲。
He is a man who preaches the gospel of the outdoors and, to my great envy, practices what he preaches. He spends most of his time out here, daydreaming about what he calls a "pristine earth": a world where nothing gets in the way of nature or the hunters who lovingly maintain it. No cities. No buildings. No highways.
他是一个户外运动的布道者，而且令我非常嫉妒的是，他实践了他所传之道。他大部分时候都呆在这里，梦想存在一个他称为“原始地球”的地方：整个世界没有任何东西会妨碍自然，或者妨碍那些细心维护自然的猎人。没有城市。没有建筑。没有高速公路。
Oh, and no sinners, too. So here's where things get a bit
uncomfortable. Phil calls himself a Bible-thumper, and holy shit, he thumps that Bible hard enough to ring the bell at a county-fair test of strength. If you watch
Duck Dynasty, you can hear plenty of it in the nondenominational supper-table prayer the family recites at the end of every episode, and in the show's no-cussing, no-blaspheming tone.
哦，还得没有罪人。说到这里事情就有点尴尬了。Phil称自己是个圣经狂人，而且我的神啊，他宣扬圣经的力度都可以把县农贸市场的力量测试钟给敲响了。如果你也看《鸭子王朝》，那你就能听到很多，包括他们一家在每集节目结尾时的晚餐桌前都会念诵的无宗派祈祷文，以及整个节目不乱诅咒、不亵渎神明的语气。
But there are more things Phil would like to say—"controversial" things, as he puts it to me—that don't make the cut. (This March, for instance, he told the Christian-oriented
Sports Spectrum magazine that he didn't approve of A&E editing out "in Jesus" from a family prayer scene, even though A&E says that the phrase has been uttered in at least seventeen episodes.)
但Phil想要表达的东西更多，用他自己的话说，那都是些“有争议的”事情，而这些就不太符合要求了。（比如，今年三月，Phil就跟具有基督教倾向的《运动光谱》杂志说他并不赞成A&E台将“奉耶稣”一语从家庭祷告镜头中剪辑掉的做法，尽管A&E台宣称这一词汇已经在至少17集节目中被他们提到过。）
Out here in these woods, without any cameras around, Phil is free to say what he wants. Maybe a little too free. He's got lots of thoughts on modern immorality, and there's no stopping them from rushing out. Like this one:
在这种丛林之中，周围没有摄像机，Phil拥有了想说啥就说啥的自由。可能还有点过分自由了。他对于现代的道德败坏想法甚多，根本无法阻止它们脱口而出。比如：
"It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man's anus. That's just me. I'm just thinking: There's more there! She's got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I'm saying? But hey, sin: It's not logical, my man. It's just not logical."
“在我看来，作为一个男人，阴道似乎要比男人的后门更可爱。我就是这样。我的想法就是：那可要好多了！她能给我提供更多东西。我的意思是，别这样，男人们！你明白我在说什么吧？但世上就是会有罪恶。这没道理，兄弟。这就是没道理。”
Perhaps we'll be needing that seat belt after all.
我想我们终究还是需要把安全带系好。
……
The
Duck Dynasty origin story is the mighty river from which all other Robertson-family stories flow. And it is an awesome story, one that improves the more it is told, so here is my stab at it:
《鸭子王朝》的起源故事是一条滔滔大河，Robertson家族此后所有的故事都发源于此。这是一个精彩的故事，而且每讲一次就会愈加完美一次，所以让我来试着叙述一下：
Phil Robertson grew up bone poor in the northwest corner of this state—a place where Cajun redneck culture and Ozark redneck culture intersect—to a manic-depressive mother and a roughneck father.
Phil Robertson成长于该州西北角一个极度贫困的家庭，当地乃是卡真人红脖文化【
译注：卡真人是路易斯安那州的法国后裔。】与欧扎卡红脖文化【
译注：欧扎卡山区位于密苏里南部与阿肯色和俄克拉荷马交界处。】的交汇之处。他的母亲患有狂躁抑郁症，父亲则是一个大老粗。
He was a star quarterback in high school and earned a scholarship to play at Louisiana Tech, but quit after one season because football interfered with duck-hunting season. The guy who took his roster spot at Tech was Terry Bradshaw, because that's how these kinds of stories go.
高中时代，他是个明星四分卫，后来获得奖学金在路易斯安那理工大学校队打球。但一个赛季以后他就退学了，因为橄榄球赛季和猎鸭季节相互冲突。在理工大学校队球员名册上顶替他位置的是Terry Bradshaw【
译注：著名四分卫】，因为所有这类故事都有这种情节走向。
Phil On Growing Up in Pre-Civil-Rights-Era Louisiana
Phil谈民权时代以前的路易斯安那成长经历
"I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I'm with the blacks, because we're white trash. We're going across the field.... They're singing and happy.
“我从未亲眼看过对任何黑人的虐待。一次都没有。我们住的地方全是农民。黑人们都为农民工作。我跟他们一起锄棉花。我跟黑人是一边的，因为我们都是穷苦白人。我们横穿田野……他们兴高采烈地歌唱。
"I never heard one of them, one black person, say, I tell you what: These doggone white people—not a word!... Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues."
“我从未听他们，从未听任何一个黑人说过，嘿，我跟你说，这些他妈的白人——我从未听过此类说辞……这是在补贴以前，在福利制度以前。你要问：他们开心吗？他们是虔诚的、开心的；根本没人丧气埋怨。”
According to Phil's autobiography—a ghostwritten book he says he has never read—he spent his days after Tech doing odd jobs and his evenings getting drunk, chasing tail, and swallowing diet pills and black mollies, a form of medicinal speed. In his midtwenties, already married with three sons, a piss-drunk Robertson kicked his family out of the house.
根据Phil的自传——该书由影子写手完成，Phil称自己从未读过——他从理工大学退学后，白天做零工，晚上则喝个大醉、拈花惹草、吞服减肥药和“黑玛丽鱼”（一种药物兴奋剂）。20多岁时，他已经结婚，并生有3个孩子，某次酩酊大醉后将家人全部赶出了自己的房子。
"I'm sick of you," he told his wife, Kay. But Robertson soon realized the error of his ways, begged Kay to come back, and turned over his life to Jesus Christ.
“我看见你就烦”，他这么跟他老婆Kay说。但Robertson很快就意识到这种生活方式的错误，求Kay回家，并将自己的生命托付给了耶稣基督。
In 1972, with Jesus at the wheel, Robertson founded the Duck Commander company, which sold a line of custom-made duck-hunting calls that quickly became popular among avid hunters for their uncanny accuracy in replicating the sound of a real duck.
1972年，在耶稣的指引下，Robertson创办了“鸭司令”公司，出售一种定制的猎鸭哨子。这种哨子很快就在贪婪的猎人中流行开来，因为它能出奇精准地再现真鸭子的声音。最终，他将公司的一半卖给了自己现年41岁的儿子Willie。
He eventually sold half the company to his son Willie, now 41, and together they made a DVD series about the family's duck hunts, which led to a show on the Outdoor Channel, which led to
Duck Dynasty on A&E, which led to everything blowing right the fuck up.
他们还一起录制了一个DVD系列，内容是全家的猎鸭活动，此举促使他们后来在“户外频道”上过一期节目，又催生了A&E台的《鸭子王朝》，而后者则促成了此后所有名声大噪的一切。
The show—a reality sitcom showcasing the semiscripted high jinks of Phil, his brother "Uncle Si," his four sons, Alan, Willie, Jase, and Jep, and the perpetually exasperated but always perfectly accessorized Robertson-family ladies—has become the biggest reality-TV hit in the history of cable television, reportedly earning the family a holy shit worthy $200,000-an-episode paycheck.
《鸭子王朝》是个真人秀情景剧，剧中展现的是Phil，他的兄弟“Uncle Si”和他4个儿子Alan、Willie、Jase和Jep之间半编排半自发的嬉笑怒骂，以及永远怒气冲冲但又总是穿戴整齐完美的Robertson家族的女士们。该剧已经成为有线电视史上最为成功的真人秀热播节目。据报道，这一家子收获了每集20万美元的天价报酬。
It's a funny, family-friendly show, with "skits that we come up with," as Phil describes the writing process. They plunder beehives. They blow up beaver dams. And when the Robertson-family ladies go up to a rooftop in a hydraulic lift, you just know that lift will "accidentally" get stuck and strand them.
这个节目既逗乐又适合家庭观看，据Phil介绍其写作过程，其中“有些搞笑是我们想出来的”。他们偷蜂巢。他们炸河狸坝。如果Robertson家族的女士们想要通过液压升降机爬到屋顶上去，你就知道升降机肯定会“突然”卡住，把她们困在里面。
But the show, whose fifth season premieres on January 15, is just one part of the family's pop-cultural dominance. In 2013 four books written (kind of!) by Robertson family members made the top ten on the
New York Times nonfiction best-seller list.
该剧第5季将在1月15日首播，但它还只是Robertson家族在流行文化界统治地位的一个侧面。2013年，Robertson家族成员写作（请自行加上引号！）的4本书进入了《纽约时报》畅销书非虚构类前十榜单。
Another book—penned by Jase Robertson and detailing his Christian rebirth at age 14, his struggle to forgive his father's past behavior, and his young daughter's struggle through five facial-reconstruction surgeries to overcome a severe cleft lip and palate—is forthcoming and destined to make it five best-sellers.
还有一本马上要出的书——由Jase Robertson写作，详述他本人14岁时经历的基督教新生、他如何努力原谅其父过去的所作所为、他的小女儿为了治疗严重的唇腭裂如何挣扎着经历5次面部修复手术——也注定要成为第5本畅销书。
There's also a book of devotionals somewhere in there, along with
Duck Dynasty themed birthday cards, bobblehead dolls, camo apparel (pink camo for the ladies), Cajun-spice seasoning, car fresheners, iPhone games (from the press release: "As players successfully complete the challenges, their beards grow to epic proportions and they start to transform from a yuppie into a full-blown redneck!"), and presumably some sort of camouflage home-pregnancy test.
这家人的作品清单里还有一本关于宗教仪式的书，此外还有《鸭子王朝》主题生日卡片、大头塑像、迷彩服（女士还有粉红迷彩）、卡真香料调味品、车用空气清新剂、iPhone游戏（游戏的新闻稿称，“如果玩家成功完成挑战，他们的胡子就会长到极为浓密，于是他们就会开始从雅皮转变为一个货真价实的红脖！”），可能还有某种具有伪装性的居家验孕办法。
It's easy to see the appeal. The Robertsons are immensely likable. They're funny. They look cool. They're "smarter than they look," says sportswriter Mark Schlabach, who co-writes the family's books.
他们的吸引力显而易见。Robertson一家子极为可爱。他们很搞笑。他们看起来很酷。他们“比看上去要聪明得多”，体育作家Mark Schlabach说道，他参与了写作该家族的书籍。
And they are remarkably honest both with one another and with the viewing audience: Phil's old hell-raising, Si's traumatic stint in Vietnam, the intervention that the family staged for Jep when he was boozing and doing drugs in college (Phil placed him under house arrest for three months)—all of it is out in the open. The more they reveal, the more people feel connected to them.
而且，他们对于彼此以及对于收看节目的观众也极为诚实。Phil曾经的捣蛋胡闹、Si在越南的痛苦岁月、Jep大学期间嗜酒嗜毒时全家为他而安排的干预矫治（Phil把他软禁在家中长达3个月）等等，所有这些都公之于众。他们展示给人的越多，人们就越是觉得自己与他们有共鸣。
And then, of course, there is their faith, which plays no small role here. During the family's initial negotiations about the show with A&E, Jase told me, "the three no-compromises were faith, betrayal of family members, and duck season."
当然，此外还有就是他们的信仰，这也发挥了不小的作用。Jase告诉我，在家族与A&E台最初就节目进行交涉时，“我们绝不让步的有三样，那就是信仰、背叛家族成员和猎鸭季节。”
That refusal to betray their faith or one another has been a staple of every media article about the Robertson family. It's their elevator pitch, and it has made them into ideal Christian icons: beloved for staking out a bit of holy ground within the mostly secular, often downright sinful, pop culture of America.
拒绝背叛信仰、拒绝背叛彼此，已经成为了所有关于Robertson家族的媒体文章的共同主题。这就是他们的“电梯演讲”【
译注：指推销自己的简短自我介绍】，使他们成为了完美的基督徒典范：因为在通常都很世俗、经常纯属邪恶的美国流行文化界圈出了一小块圣洁土壤而受到人们钟爱。
……
Phil Robertson's house is located in the sticks about twenty miles outside the city of Monroe (pronounce it
mun-roe). It's a rather small house—the kind of place its owner would proudly call "humble." The kitchen table is covered with big plastic tubs of cinnamon rolls and mini muffins. There are candy dishes filled to the brim, bricks of softening butter, and packages of jerky made from unknown animals, sent by unnamed fans. (I tried some, and it was awesome.)
Phil Robertson的家安在距门罗市大约20英里的边远地区。房子相对较小——主人很可以骄傲地称这种住所为“寒舍”。厨房餐桌上摆满了大塑料盆装的肉桂饼和迷你松糕。还有满到冒尖的糖果盘子、快要融化的黄油块以及一包包由不知名粉丝送来的不知何种动物的肉干（我试吃了一些，味道棒极了）。
Just inside the front door, a giant flat-screen TV shows Fox News on mute at all times, and a bunch of big squishy sofas are arranged in a rectangle around it.
一进前门，就可以看到一个巨大的平面屏幕电视机，不间断地静音播放Fox News。好几个松垮垮的沙发就呈矩形摆放在电视机周围。
Si Robertson is sitting on the couch facing the TV. Jep Robertson, age 35, the youngest son, curls up in a recliner in the corner with a pistol strapped to his waist. He barely speaks, like a countrified Silent Bob.
Si Robertson坐在正对电视机的沙发上。35岁的Jep Robertson是最小的儿子，蜷缩在角落里的一条躺椅上，腰上别支手枪。他很少说话，就像是个乡村版的“沉默的鲍勃”【
译注：美国制片人Kevin Smith创造的虚拟人物，沉默寡言】。
Jase, 44, and Willie share a love seat while Phil lounges barefoot on a camo-patterned recliner in the far corner of the room. Two dogs share the recliner's footrest with Phil's heavily callused bare feet. He has severe bunions, so his big toes jut in at forty-five-degree angles.
44岁的Jase和Willie一起坐在一张双人沙发上，而Phil则赤脚躺在房间最远处角落里的一张涂着迷彩图案的躺椅上。两只狗跟Phil那长满老茧的赤脚一同靠着脚垫。他患有严重的拇囊炎，所以大脚趾根呈45度角突出【
编注：据某些医生认为，拇囊炎和长期穿不合脚的鞋有关，比如特别窄的尖头皮靴。】。
The main TV room is cluttered with mismatched furniture and photos hung haphazardly on the walls. And Phil looks like part of the clutter himself, as if he'd been wedged into that recliner a while back by some absentminded homeowner who didn't know where else to put him.
放电视机的主客厅里胡乱摆放着互不搭配的家具，墙上随意挂着些照片。Phil本人看起来似乎就是杂物之一，就好像是之前某个心不在焉的房主不知道要把他摆哪里，所以就塞进了那个躺椅中。
When I walk into the TV area, no one makes a move to get up—the Robertson men greet you as they would a friend who just came back from a beer run. Not only are the Robertsons among the most famous people in the country, they also happen to be among the most recognizable.
我走进电视房时，没人做出什么要起来的动作。Robertson家的男人欢迎你的方式，就像他们对待一个刚买啤酒回来的朋友一样。Robertson一家不但是全县最出名的人物之一，他们也是最好认的人之一。凭着那些大胡子，你在一英里以外都能认出他们。
You can spot them from a mile away with those beards. Imagine Johnny Depp walking around every day in his Jack Sparrow costume and you begin to get an idea of how much they stand out. It's gotten to the point that they say they can't fly commercial anymore.
想象一下约翰·尼德普天天顶着杰克船长的那套装扮四处晃悠，你就能大体理解他们有多么突兀显眼。这事已经发展到了他们说他们再也不能乘坐普通民航的程度。
"You been hunting yet this year?" Phil asks me, by way of introduction.
“今年你打过猎？”Phil这么问我，算是引见。
I have not. In fact, I confess to Phil, I've never been hunting before. But I have fired a gun! NOT A TOTAL LIGHTWEIGHT, GANG!
没有。事实上，我跟Phil坦白说，我还从未打过猎。但是开过枪！绝不是完全的废材，酷！
"Si went this morning and killed three squirrels," says Phil. "They're delicious. One of the best meats there is in the woods, I'll tell you that. Very clean animal." He nods toward Uncle Si, who, with his mangy ponytail, looks very much like the squirrels he hunts.
“Si今天早上去了，杀了三只松鼠”，Phil说。“太美味了。我跟你说，这可是丛林中最美的肉食之一。非常干净的动物。”他朝Uncle Si点点头，后者顶着一条脏兮兮的马尾辫，看起来倒是蛮像他猎杀的松鼠。
Phil On Why He Voted Romney in 2012
Phil谈他2012年为什么给罗姆尼投票
"If I'm lost at three o'clock in a major metropolitan area...I ask myself: Where would I rather be trying to walk with my wife and children? One of the guys who's running for president is out of Chicago, Illinois, and the other one is from Salt Lake City, Utah.
[Editor's note: Romney is from Boston, not Salt Lake City.] Where would I rather be turned around at three o'clock in the morning? I opted for Salt Lake City. I think it would be safer."
“如果我早上三点在一个大都市区迷路了……我会问我自己：我更想带着我的妻子和孩子朝哪个方向走？竞选总统的人中有一个来自伊利诺斯的芝加哥，另一个来自犹他的盐湖城[原文编辑注：罗姆尼来自波士顿，而不是盐湖城]【
译注：罗姆尼虽不是来自盐湖城，但确实是摩门教徒。】。凌晨3点钟，我应该朝哪个方向走？我选择盐湖城。我觉得这样安全些。”
Even though he's in the far corner of the room, Phil dominates the house. There are times when he doesn't look you in the eye while he's speaking—he looks just off to the side of you, as if Jesus were standing nearby, holding a stack of cue cards. Everyone else in the room just stares at his phone, or at the TV, or holds side conversations as Phil preaches.
尽管他只是远远地坐在房间的角落里，但Phil仍俯视着整个屋子。有时候，他在跟你说话时并不会和你对视，他的视线会朝向你的左右两边，就好像耶稣正手拿一堆提示卡站在旁边一样。Phil布道时，屋子里的其他人要么就盯着自己的手机，要么就盯着电视机，要么就继续和其他人单独说话。
"We're Bible-thumpers who just happened to end up on television," he tells me. "You put in your article that the Robertson family really believes strongly that if the human race loved each other and they loved God, we would just be better off. We ought to just be repentant, turn to God, and let's get on with it, and everything will turn around."
“我们都是些圣经狂人，只是碰巧跑到电视上去了而已”，他跟我说。“你写的文章要说一说，Robertson一家人确实非常相信，如果人类能够爱彼此同时爱上帝，我们就会过得更加好。我们就是应该悔改、应该皈依上帝。只要我们努力如此，一切都会好转。”
What does repentance entail? Well, in Robertson's worldview, America was a country founded upon Christian values (Thou shalt not kill, etc.), and he believes that the gradual removal of Christian symbolism from public spaces has diluted those founding principles. (He and Si take turns going on about why the Ten Commandments ought to be displayed outside courthouses.) He sees the popularity of
Duck Dynasty as a small corrective to all that we have lost.
悔改意味着什么？关于这事，在Robertson的世界观里，美国的建国基础是基督教价值观（“不可杀人”等等）。而且他认为，将基督教符号从公共空间中逐步清除的做法已经冲淡了这些建国原则。（他和Si轮流喋喋不休地谈论为什么应该将十诫摆在法院外边。）他将《鸭子王朝》的风靡视作对我们所丢弃之物的一点点矫正。
"Everything is blurred on what's right and what's wrong," he says. "Sin becomes fine."
“何为是？何为非？一切都模糊了”，他说。“罪恶通行无阻。”
What, in your mind, is sinful?
在你心目中，什么是有罪？
"Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men," he says. Then he paraphrases Corinthians: "Don't be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won't inherit the kingdom of God. Don't deceive yourself. It's not right."
他说，“首先是同性恋，然后就从那开始分化。兽交，跟这个女的那个女的厮混，然后又跟那个女的这群男的厮混。”然后他改述《哥林多前书》：“不要自欺。无论是奸淫的、拜偶像的、做男妓的、行同性恋的冒犯者、贪婪的、醉酒的、造谣的、行骗的，他们都不能承受神的国。不要自欺。这是不对的。”
During Phil's darkest days, in the early 1970s, he had to flee the state of Arkansas after he badly beat up a bar owner and the guy's wife. Kay Robertson persuaded the bar owner not to press charges in exchange for most of the Robertsons' life savings. ("A hefty price," he notes in his memoir.) I ask Phil if he ever repented for
that, as he wants America to repent—if he ever tracked down the bar owner and his wife to apologize for the assault. He shakes his head.
在他过往的黑暗日子里，1970年代早期，Phil曾将一个酒吧店主及其妻子打成重伤，自己不得不逃离阿肯色。Kay Robertson说服酒吧店主不起诉，代价是付出了Robertson一辈子攒下的大部分积蓄。（“沉重的代价”，他在自传中说。）我问他，如果他要美国悔改，那他是否曾为此悔改过，是否曾追寻那个店主及其妻子的下落并为其袭击行为致歉。他摇了摇头。
"I didn't dredge anything back up. I just put it behind me."
“我不会在任何旧事上徘徊。我会径直将它们丢在脑后。”
As far as Phil is concerned, he was literally born again. Old Phil—the guy with the booze and the pills—died a long time ago, and New Phil sees no need to apologize for him:
在Phil看来，他已经真真切切地重生了一次。旧的Phil，那个饮酒嗑药的Phil，很久以前就已死去，新的Phil不觉得有必要帮他道歉。
"We never, ever judge someone on who's going to heaven, hell. That's the Almighty's job. We just love 'em, give 'em the good news about Jesus—whether they're homosexuals, drunks, terrorists. We let God sort 'em out later, you see what I'm saying?"
“谁会上天堂，谁会下地狱，在这个问题上我们从不、绝不对人加以评判。这是上帝的事务。我们只需爱他们，向他们传递关于耶稣的好消息，不管他们是同性恋、酒鬼还是恐怖分子。我们让上帝以后来挑选他们，你知道我什么意思吗？”
Okay, so perhaps it's not exactly shocking that a deeply religious 67-year-old hunter from rural Louisiana would have, shall we say,
enthusiastic ideas about what constitutes good Christian morality. That's the unspoken red-state appeal of
Duck Dynasty. They're godly folk. "Real" folk.
好吧。所以，一个信仰极为真诚的67岁路易斯安那乡下猎人会对什么是好的基督教伦理这一问题抱有（也许可以说）极为狂热的想法，这也许并不是特别令人震惊。这是《鸭子王朝》对于红州不言而喻的感染力。他们是一帮虔诚的老百姓。“真正的”老百姓。
It helps explain why people flock to Monroe in droves to visit the Duck Commander store (which, shockingly, does not sell firearms). It's why Willie Robertson can walk out of work on a regular Thursday afternoon and be greeted by a cheering crowd that seemingly stretches back to the horizon. He shows me a video of the crowd on his phone.
它可以解释，为什么人们会成群结队地涌入门罗市，只为参观“鸭司令”的门店（令人惊讶的是，店里并不出售武器）。这也是为何当Willie Robertson在某个平常的周四下午歇工后会受到一大群人欢呼致意，拥挤的人群似乎要延伸到天边去。他用手机向我展示了人群的视频。
"This was one day just in the summer," he says. "I was just going in my car to go home. "
“这就只是夏日的一天”，他说。“我只是朝我的车子走去，准备回家。”
Does it ever wear you down?
这是否会让你疲倦？
"Oh yeah."
“嗯。”
Willie has just come back from Washington, D.C., where he accepted an award at the Angels in Adoption Gala. (He and his wife, Korie, adopted a biracial child named Will and are dedicated advocates of the practice.) As we speak, there's a film crew outside the house, prepping for a State Farm ad that the family will be shooting here on the property tomorrow.
Willie刚从华盛顿回来，他去“收养天使庆典”上领了一个奖。（Willie和妻子Korie领养了一个混血儿，叫做Will，两人都是领养行为的热情拥护者。）我们交谈的时候，屋子外头还有一个制片组，正在为全家人明天将在这片宅子上拍摄的一个“州立农业保险公司”广告做准备。
The Robertsons receive more than 500 media requests a day, and Willie had to negotiate down to four shooting days a week with A&E just so the family would have a bit of breathing room. Phil knows it won't last. He can already see that the end is near, and he's prepared for it.
每天，Robertson一家都会收到500多份媒体请求，Willie则需要和A&E台商量，将拍摄日减少到每周4天，以便全家能稍微有一些喘息空间。Phil知道事情不会一直如此。他已经预见到，快要到头了，而且正在为之做准备。
"Let's face it," he says. "Three, four, five years, we're out of here. You know what I'm saying? It's a TV show. This thing ain't gonna last forever. No way."
“承认吧”，他说。“三年、四年、五年，我们肯定会停的。你知道我什么意思不？这只是个电视节目。这种东西不会永远持续。绝不可能。”
When the show runs its course and the production trucks drive off the Robertson property for good, there will be nothing keeping Phil from his greater mission. He could step back if he felt like it, given that he's now a very wealthy man. He could stay in these woods and live out the rest of his days hunting. But he has a flock now. He and the other Robertson men happily tour the country, giving speeches and hosting Bible studies.
如果节目寿终正寝，摄制组的大卡车彻底离Robertson一家人的领地而去，那时候将没有任何事物能够阻止Phil去履行他那更伟大的使命。如果他愿意，他可以退隐，因为他现在已经非常富有。他可以呆在这些林子里，余生全用来打猎。但是他现在有了一批教徒。他和Robertson家的其他男人一起，愉快地在全国巡回，发表演讲，主持圣经研究。
I ask Jep Robertson later on if the second generation of Robertson men shares Phil's views on sin and morality. "We're not quite as outspoken as my dad, but I'm definitely in line," he says. "If somebody asks, I tell 'em what the Bible says."
我后来曾问过Jep Robertson，在罪行和道德问题上，Robertson家的第二代男人是否跟Phil持有一样的观点。“我们并不像爸爸那样坦率直言，但我绝对是跟随着他的”，他说。“如果有人问我什么事，我会告诉他圣经怎么说。”
When Uncle Si went to Conway, Arkansas, recently for a paid appearance, 20,000 people showed up. It led the local news that night in Little Rock. The show is merely the platform. The end goal is to save souls. And the Robertson family is more than happy to sacrifice a little privacy out here in the woods—visitors regularly congregate outside Phil's security gate hoping for a glance at the family— to spread the good word.
Uncle Si最近参加阿肯色州康威市的一次商业登台时，有20000人出席。该活动在小石城当晚的地方新闻中大放异彩。演出只是一个平台。最终目的是拯救灵魂。而且，为了传播上帝的好消息，Robertson一家非常乐意在这片林子里牺牲一点隐私——参观者经常会聚集在Phil的防盗闸前面，盼望着能窥探一下这个家庭。
"For the sake of the Gospel, it was worth it," Phil tells me. "All you have to do is look at any society where there is no Jesus. I'll give you four: Nazis, no Jesus. Look at their record. Uh, Shintos? They started this thing in Pearl Harbor. Any Jesus among them? None. Communists? None. Islamists? Zero. That's eighty years of ideologies that have popped up where no Jesus was allowed among those four groups. Just look at the records as far as murder goes among those four groups."
“为了福音，这么做是值得的”，Phil跟我说。“你只需要看看那些没有耶稣的社会。我给你举4个。纳粹，没有耶稣。看看他们的历史。呃，神道教？他们搞出了珍珠港这档子事。他们有耶稣吗？没有。共产主义者？没有。伊斯兰主义者？零。这4个群体中有80年不允许耶稣出现，结果就冒出了这么些意识形态。只需要看看这4个群体中谋杀蔓延的记录。”
Phil On Health Insurance
Phil谈医疗保险
"Temporary is all you're going to get with any kind of health care, except the health care I'm telling you about. That's eternal health care, and it's free.... I've opted to go with eternal health care instead of blowing money on these insurance schemes."
“你从任何医疗保健上面得到的，都只能是暂时的。除非你采用我跟你说的这种医疗保健，那就是永恒医疗保健，而且它是免费的……我选择采用永恒医疗保健，不会把钱浪费在那些保险计划上头。”
For what it's worth—and since I actually looked it up—the violent-crime rate here in America has plummeted since 1990, even as church attendance has stayed the same. And, of course, Phil is conveniently ignoring centuries upon centuries of war, bloodshed, and human enslavement committed in the name of Christ.
或可加以参考的是——我确实查证过——美国的暴力犯罪率自1990年以来已经大幅下降了，尽管去教堂的人数并没有什么变化。而且，Phil显然随手就把历史上数个世纪里以基督的名义犯下的种种战争、杀戮和奴役他人等行为给忽略了。
But I doubt any of that would sway Phil. And anyway, I'm a guest in his house and he is my welcoming host, so I smile politely and nod like the milquetoast suburban WASP that I am.
但是，我怀疑所有这些都不会动摇Phil。而且，不管怎样，我是到他家作客的，他又是个好客的主人，所以我一直礼貌地笑着，恰如其分地像个城郊盎格鲁萨克逊白人新教徒那样温驯地点头。
If you can't reconcile some of the things Phil says with his otherwise friendly demeanor—perhaps because you are gay, or a duck—I don't blame you. And I don't blame Duck Dynasty for keeping the show safely apolitical, ensuring smooth digestion for a mass audience.
如果你没法很好地调和Phil的部分言论与他的另外一些友好举止——也许因为你是同性恋，或者你是只鸭子——我并不会怪你。我也不怪《鸭子王朝》一剧刻意小心地保持其非政治性质的做法，这是为了确保大众受众能够毫无阻碍地接受它。
While Phil proselytizes, I lean over to Willie, who is playing a video game on his phone.
在Phil推销其宗教信仰的时候，我侧身探向Willie，他正在手机上玩电子游戏。
Boy, it's hard to get a word in with him!
哎呀，要在他面前插进一句话可真难啊！
Willie nods knowingly, barely looking up. I get the sense he's heard all this before, many, many times. It's taken me a while to figure out that you can cut Phil off and it's not rude. He's like a sidewalk preacher. One look from a stranger is all he needs to delve into the story bank and dole out his sermon. You can stop and listen for a bit, and then move on if you like. So even though he's rolling, I change the subject.
Willie会意地点点头，基本没看我。于是我就知道，他之前肯定已经听过这些话了，而且是很多很多次。我费了好一会儿才明白，你可以直接打断Phil的话，他不会觉得你粗鲁。他就像是那些呆在路边的布道者。只要有陌生人看他一眼，就足够让他深入到他自己的故事库里，开始他的讲道。你可以驻足一会，稍微听听，然后想走就走。所以尽管他还在滔滔不绝，我却换了一个话题。
You know what, Phil? Maybe we should just go shoot some stuff. Can we do that?
你知道吗，Phil？也许我们应该直接跑去射点东西。行不？
"Oh yeah. You betcha we can."
“当然行。这还用问吗？”
……
The Robertson family spread is a 20,000-acre stretch of Louisiana floodplain. At first glance, it looks like an untouched expanse of rural wilderness. It is not. Phil stops the ATV in the middle of the trail, which runs atop a levee that he built himself, to show me a vast field of pink wild flowers. He crumbles one of the wild flowers and shows me the black seeds inside.
Robertson家族散居在路易斯安那20000英亩的大片洪泛平原上。乍一看，此地就像是一个未经开发的辽阔荒野。但它不是。Phil半路中停住了他的全地形车，我们行驶的小径就修在他自己建的一条堤坝上。Phil带我去看一大片的粉红色银莲花。他捏碎其中一个，让我看里面的黑色种子。
"See them little black seeds? See that? That's what ducks eat. They love that. It's called Pennsylvania smartweed. So we basically grow either natural vegetation or plants, or augment it, and we flood it." In other words, the Robertsons are a legit farm-to-table family. Real pre-hipster shit.
“看到那些小小的黑色种子没有？看到不？鸭子就吃那个。它们很喜欢。这叫做宾夕法尼亚荨麻。所以我们基本上要么就是种天然的植被，要么就是种作物，或者帮助其增长，然后就把它们放水淹起来。”换句话说，Robertson一家可是正统的从农场到餐桌的家庭。真正是颓废派出现之前的做派。
When the waters from the nearby Ouachita River flood, it creates an ideal place to feed ducks. Which means it's also the ideal place to kill ducks, who fly all the way from the Canadian prairies just to find themselves at the wrong end of Phil's shotgun.
当附近的沃希托河洪水泛滥时，这里就成了一个饲养鸭子的理想场所。这也意味着，它同样是猎杀鸭子的理想场所。鸭子们从加拿大的大草原上一路飞过来，却发现自己错误地撞到了Phil的枪口。
"Whack 'em and stack 'em," as he says. And if the river doesn't flood during the sixty-day duck season between November and January, Robertson has a pipeline installed to flood the lowlands anyway so that they don't lose a day of hunting.
“啪一下、堆起来”，他是这么说的。如果在11月至1月之间的60天猎鸭季节之内，河里没有涨水，那么Robertson就会装上一根管子，总之要把低洼地带淹没起来，这样他们就不会浪费一天打猎机会。
The ecology here has been so perfectly manipulated that it feels as if two giant hands reached down from the sky and molded the land itself, an effect that I'm sure would please Phil. Whatever you think of Phil's beliefs, it's hard not to gaze upon his cultivations and wonder if you've gotten life all wrong.
这里的生态营造得如此完美，以至于你会觉得好像是有两只巨手从天而降亲自塑造了这片大地。我想这肯定让Phil特别愉悦。无论你怎么看待Phil的信仰, 当你看着他种植的东西时，你几乎总会纳闷自己的生活是不是都错了。
This is life as summer camp. It's gorgeous, in a way that alters you on an elemental level. I feel it when I breathe the air. I feel it when I survey the enormity of the space around me. I shouldn't be sitting around the house and bitching because the new iOS 7 touchscreen icons don't have any fucking drop shadow. I should be out here, dammit! Killing things and growing things and bringing dead things home to cook! There is a life out in this wilderness that I am too chickenshit to lead.
这是一种夏令营似的生活。它无比动人，会从最根本的层面上改变你。我呼吸的时候，有这种体会。我纵览周边的无垠空间时，有这种体会。我不应该在屋子里呆着，为那见鬼的新版iOS 7触屏图标没有阴影效果而满腹牢骚。我应该跑到这儿来，该死的！杀点东西、种点东西，然后带点打死的东西回家煮！这片荒野中有一种生活方式，而我胆小懦弱、无力体验。
As we speed along, a speck of mud gets on my shirt—OMG MUD EWW SO GROSS!—and I flick it away. Meanwhile, Phil sits next to me, and his whole life is
caked in mud. He's been out here plunging his hands into the earth and ripping the heads off ducks while I've been in suburbia with my thumb up my ass. I feel both inadequate and ungrateful. There's only one way to absolve myself, I figure, and that is to shoot the fuck out of this crossbow.
疾驰而过的时候，一小块泥巴溅到了我的衬衫上——天啦！泥巴！呃，太恶心啦！——我把它给弹走了。这时，Phil就坐在我旁边，他的整个人生就凝结在泥巴里。当我在郊区呆着没事抠屁眼的时候，他却一直呆在这片荒野中，双手扒进泥土里，撕扯鸭子们的脑袋。我既感到自己人生不够完整，又感到自己不知感恩。我想，只有一种办法能赦免我自己，那就是拿着这只手弩射他妈的几发。
Can I shoot the crossbow? And the rifle, for that matter?
我能不能射射这只手弩？还有那条步枪？
"It's ready to go," he says. "Let's see what you can shoot at."
“已经弄好了”，他说。“看看你能射到什么。”
Since it isn't duck season yet, and since there are no deer around, Phil tosses out a bottle of water from the ATV for me to target. I grab the .22 first, step out of the vehicle, and nail it dead on. first shot. I AM THE HUNTER.
因为现在还没到猎鸭季节，而且周围也没有野鹿，所以Phil从车上往外边扔出一瓶水，让我去瞄准。我先拿起那条点22步枪，爬出车子，十分精准地击中了它。第一枪。我是个猎人！
Time for the crossbow. Phil steps in front of the ATV to move the bottle so that I have a clear shot. I jokingly pantomime grabbing at the crossbow to shoot him.
接着是手弩。Phil跑到车子前面去挪动那只瓶子，以便让我能看得更清。我开玩笑地打手势，假装拿着弩要去射他。
Just stay there, Phil! That's perfect!
就呆在那儿，Phil！很好！
He laughs and pats his pant leg: "That's why I keep an extra sidearm here."
他笑了，拍拍自己的裤腿。“这就是为啥我要额外在这里再放一支小手枪。”
Phil hands me the bow, and I try to get a bead on the bottle through the scope. I close my eyes just as I'm squeezing the trigger. I hear the rush of the arrow and open my eyes in time to see the bottle jump up and start bleeding water down into the swamplands. The arrow is stuck a foot deep in the muck. I feel so very alive.
Phil把弩交给我，我试着用瞄准器的准星去对那只瓶子。扣下扳机时，我闭上了眼睛。我听到箭支射出去的声音，睁开眼睛，就看到瓶子飞了起来，正往底下的沼泽地里漏水。箭支没地足有一英尺。我感到活力十足。
Phil nods in approval. "What do they call you where you're from? Deadeye? Let me guess: You were a mischievous boy when you were younger." I was indeed. Perhaps I should have stayed that way.
Phil赞赏地点点头。“在你们那边，人们管你叫啥？我猜，是‘神射手’？你小的时候肯定是个淘气的孩子。”我确实是。也许我应该一直保持那样。
"So you and your woman: Are y'all Bible people?"
“那么，你和你的女人，信圣经的吗？”
Not really, I'm sorry to say.
恐怕不是，很遗憾地说。
"If you simply put your faith in Jesus coming down in flesh, through a human being, God becoming flesh living on the earth, dying on the cross for the sins of the world, being buried, and being raised from the dead—yours and mine and everybody else's problems will be solved. And the next time we see you, we will say: ‘You are now a brother. Our brother.' So then we look at you totally different then. See what I'm saying?"
“只要你能相信耶稣通过一个人的形式以肉身降临，相信上帝变成肉身，生活在地球上，为着世上的罪恶而死在了十字架上，被埋进土里又死而复生。那么你的问题、我的问题、所有其他人的问题就都解决了。下次我们再看到你，我们就会说：‘你现在是兄弟。我们的兄弟’。那时候我们看待你就会完全不同了。知道我什么意思不？”
I think so?
大概知道？
We hop back in the ATV and plow toward the sunset, back to the Robertson home. There will be no family dinner tonight. No cameras in the house. No rowdy squirrel-hunting stories from back in the day. There will be only the realest version of Phil Robertson, hosting a private Bible study with a woman who, according to him, "has been on cocaine for years and is making her decision to repent. I'm going to point her in the right direction."
我们跳回车上，车子朝着夕阳颠簸，往Robertson家开回去。今晚不会有家庭晚餐。家里不会有摄像机。不会有人叽叽喳喳地讲述白天猎松鼠的故事。只会有最真实版本的Phil Robertson，他将举办一个私人的圣经学习会。另外一位参与者是个妇女，据Robertson说，“她多年来一直吸食可卡因，正决定悔改。我会为她指明正确的方向。”
It's the direction he would like to point everyone: back to the woods. Back to the pioneer spirit. Back to God. "Why don't we go back to the old days?" he asked me at one point. But now, I'm afraid, I must get out of the ATV and go back to where I belong, back to the godless part of America that Phil is determined to save.
这方向是他愿意为任何人指明的：回归丛林；回归拓荒者的精神；回归上帝。“为什么不能回到老时光呢？”他曾这样问我。但是，我想我现在必须离开他的全地形车，回到属于我的地方、回到Phil下定决心要去拯救的那个不虔诚的美国去了。
（编辑：辉格@whigzhou）
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——海德沙龙·翻译组，致力于将英文世界的好文章搬进中文世界——
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